Hello!

Well, I think I've found a new home. This has been a wonderful outlet fo rme, but I'm really feeling this new spot. So, this will officially be my last post in this blog. If you'd like to visit my new digs, check me out at PrecioiusOrchid -- The Orchid is Revealed
CIAO BELLA!

Will someone tell me why I'm keeping 3 online diaries??? Is that a bit duplicative or what!!! EXCESS!! Sometimes you can't help but get sucked in, you know? I shall do my best to keep them all current. Hhmmph!

The turkey sits at the computer
Stuffed!
JEEEZZ, why do we do this to ourselves?!??!?!
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.....

Happy Birthday to ME!!
I have been inspired to write again. It's funny how we can gleem inspiration from a variety of avenues. What have I learned over the past year? Many things, but one that stands out at the moment is to believe in yourself. You hold the key to your self worth. No one else. Oh, and not to believe everything you are told. I know, I know....should have learned that one a long time ago. What can I say? I'm a late bloomer, give me a break.
Oh, how sweet were your words....words that were followed by no action at all. Hmph!

Thank you Lord for another chance to make a positive change in my life and perhaps touch someone in a positive way. It's funny how we can get so caught up in other people and their lives, and be so affected by them that our own happiness seems to hang in their balances. Thank God for clarity and His guidance. It's not easy, but we must overcome the act of allowing others to control our destiny. It's NOT up to anyone but ourselves and it's unfair to put that expectation/burden on anyone as well. I commit to my own happiness as it is my journey not a destination.

Wow! it has been a long time since I've posted. Okay...let's see what's up. So much has happened, but will not be revealed here. I'll just say everything is all good now. Next week I'll be turning 36 and am considering some life-changing moves for the next year. I can't wait!! Well, that's all I want to say now. Until next time.............

::::MONDAZE::::

It sure went by so quickly. I was so busy at work today. One week off and you play catch up for a month! Not really, but I'm sure somebody's feeling me right now. I had a great family reconnection this weekend and it made my day! Pauline -- it's on! Can't wait for our "girl talk" session!
I have some catching up to do, I've been slacking in my journal keeping. I'll get it together.

Love is Always
Right here in my head you float around and back again
I want it in my hands spinning around and round
You can't break this cause it's always in my mind
I'm so into you
One thought of you and I'm so bright and it's alright
True love never fades
Always
Love always
Lonely doesn't exist with the memories I have here
They grow stronger and more
And with all that I do
I'm gonna hold on cause you keep me so alive
I'm so into you
One thought of you and I'm so high
One thought like this
And it's alright
True love never fades
Always
True love never fades
Always
Love is always...

How could I
Be so judgemental
Tactless and so temperamental
Hurtful words slicing through
The very essence of you
Strong, hard-working Black man
Carrying the world on your shoulders
And unthinkingly I add another boulder
Oblivious all the while
Of the growing weight of your pile
It's not like I'm unaware
Of the role they want me to play
In society's game to keep you down
Because your skin is brown
Undiluted, strong and unpolluted
My Black man
Solid and firmly rooted
I love you now
I love you forever
And you I will always treasure
Please forgive me
Forgive this sister
For her unintentional careless whisper

And after all is said and done
You will always be the one
Who knew me best
Above all the rest
You were the one I chose
No one came close
To what you and I shared
Our sins and souls were bared
Leaving no emotion spared
Deep was our understanding
Love making was outstanding
Smooth was our flow
Now I wonder if we've hit our plateau
I guess only time will tell
If it was true love or a spell
That still keeps me yearning...
For you
What say you?

Last night I had a good cry
It should be no surprise as to why
I went on a journey
Back to the last day we were together
One of the best times ever
I had with you
Just us two
Loving each other
Leaving the sheets soaked
More loving than I had hoped
Sun beaming through the windows
Illuminating our acts of love
It felt like heaven came down from above
Blessing this union
Uniting us forever
Always we'd be together
But now
It seems so long ago
Where did all the time go
Yes, oceans were cried last night
Until all my tears took flight
Leaving me dry
Wondering why
Last night I had a good cry

Wow! It has been a little while since I've posted. I had the kind of weekend that leaves one in a state of deep thought. I'm re-evaluating those in my life and their place in it. I think the changing season has something to do with it as well. Trees being stripped of their leaves -- me, stripping down another layer of "stuff". I won't go into what the "stuff" is, but it's there.

It's okay

If I don't hear you tell me you love me again...
It's okay
If I don't feel you near me again...
It's okay
Time will have it's way
Fading one day into the next
Leaving only a memory
Of a what I thought would last
Really...
It's okay!

He touches me
In a way I have never been touched before
Extending his hand in friendship
And opening his heart
A gesture I have realized does not come easily

He makes me laugh
Allows me to cry in his arms
Wipes my tears
And has shed a few of his own

I miss you!

STEMO - You are my BEST friend in the whole wide world -- heeheheheheheee

LOVE

"True Love is not a painful obsession. It is not taking a hostage or being a hostage. It is not all-consuming, isolating, or constricting. Unfortunately the type of love most of us learned about as children is in fact an addiction, a form of toxic love."

"A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment it is a lesson. As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever we are setup to fail. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever, expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. SM- Thanks for the reminder *wink*

words used to flow so easily for you
just like my feelings
running deep, endless and unexpectedly
and then
just as easily as they flowed
they stopped
why?

body full of delight
titillated beyond my sight
'shame it had to end
who knew he'd win
didn't want it to end this way
but what could i say
you were there when no one else was
gave me a moment to take pause
now i must go on
for what awaits me is a new dawn